Saw
you today while out doing some things. I
recognized the way you walk, the stance, the leer, the tilt of your head. If I could go back several years and instead
of wedding bells. Hear the warning siren
of alarm bells ringing, How things would be so different. A heart so wounded, so frightened of my own choices. Pretend to be strong and enduring when inside
I’m alone and wondering. No room to
think of all the dreams you killed in multiple affairs and lies. Seeing you walk away with your swagger so
obviously trolling for the next probable victim so young and unsuspecting. Pursuing your conquests with delicious
anticipation of destroying their beauty, their desires hopes and
dreams.
A dream catcher
and trapper. Funny to say and even sadder to know that in
cutting myself loose, somewhere out there is your next victim. Who wont see your smile for the evil sneer,
wont know that your laugh is at her expense, the way in which he walks to control
your every moment and then your thought, his bit by bit reducing your space
your time into little pieces of his construction. You wont see his leer and that his greatest
achievement will always be destroying the castle that symbolizes all who you are. He will walk into your life and you will let
him thinking him to be all that he convincingly portrays. That mirror of his beauty is not his but
yours reflected back to you. That is why
he chooses us as his. We are shining
beacons of light in his very dark and desperate world. We are his drug of choice and he will never
get enough. Already taken what was never
his to take. I wish you would not give
him a word, a glance…like a living corpse he walks among us as fake. Nothing inside but empty shelves save for the
feminine souls he stole.
Save
one…my heart he could not destroy.
Fighting always to get out and protect my soul from his monstrous
control. Valuing what I learned as a
little girl. My value never failed to
myself or my hate for that soulless specter.
Kept me strong to the day when I finally said no more, not another
second wasted on a single thought or nibbling question looking for
answers. The answer no longer mattered. Just the journey that walking back into the
light and all that it meant to me.
Taking back my life, not caring about the scars I acquired. Trusting in my natural goodness to give me
the strength to not look back.
Whoever
you victim next I wish her the very best.
My life is no longer defined by you or your lies. You were dead to me long ago and not a day
goes by that I miss you. You and
everything you are was trash and the effort it took to put you to the curb with
the rest of the useless trash was worth it.
Your lies, your mouth, your entire way of being stinks with your lack of
morality. Best day of my life was
kicking you out.
As
I sit writing this I look around me at my happy house, with my happy children
and a smile on my face. My future is
full of hope and love and you will be nothing to me but a stranger on the
street. Passing and insignificant. Your life nothing but a bad memory.
Samantha
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